Traits That Ruin Relationships Instantly and Why Some People Never Get Married: How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Love is beautiful, but a single mistake or repeated behaviors can destroy a relationship. Whether dating or married, maintaining a healthy relationship is never easy. Many people believe they just need to find “the right person,” but in reality, relationships often fail due to how people treat each other, not because they are inherently incompatible.

Some people are great at dating but struggle with marriage. Others can’t seem to maintain a long-term relationship despite their best efforts. Some relationships fall apart after marriage, leading to separation or divorce. So, what behaviors and attitudes instantly break relationships? And what are the essential elements for sustaining a happy, long-term relationship?

Table of Contents

1. The Most Common Mistakes That Ruin Relationships and Marriages

1) Extreme Emotional Swings and Clinginess

At the beginning of a relationship, everything feels exciting. But as time goes on, someone with extreme mood swings can emotionally exhaust their partner.

Getting upset if a partner takes too long to reply to a message
Constantly questioning the partner’s whereabouts
Asking “Am I not as important as your friends?” or similar possessive questions

At first, these behaviors may seem like love, but over time, they can make the partner feel trapped and suffocated in the relationship.

💡 Solution:
Maintaining a healthy level of distance is essential in relationships. Instead of trying to control your partner, respect their personal space and independence.

2) Being Too Calculative in the Relationship

Love involves giving and receiving, but if someone is overly calculative, it can make the relationship feel transactional and unromantic.

Always insisting on splitting bills evenly
Feeling resentful if the other person spends slightly less money on dates
After marriage, saying things like “I contributed more, so you should do more”

Money is an important factor in relationships, but when financial matters take priority over emotional connection, the relationship starts to feel like a business deal rather than a partnership.

💡 Solution:
While financial responsibility is important, relationships should prioritize emotional support and mutual generosity over financial balance.

3) Lack of Physical Intimacy and Indifference

Physical intimacy in a marriage is not just about physical desire—it plays a crucial role in strengthening emotional bonds. However, when one partner consistently rejects or neglects intimacy, the other partner may start feeling unwanted and emotionally detached.

Many married couples say that after being rejected three to five times, they stop initiating intimacy altogether. This creates distance in the relationship, and over time, both partners drift apart.

💡 Solution:
Physical intimacy is an expression of love and connection, not just a physical need. Couples should communicate openly about their expectations and work together to maintain a healthy balance.

4) Letting Go of Personal Appearance and Self-Care

At the start of a relationship, both partners put in effort to look attractive. However, as time passes, many people become complacent about their appearance and hygiene.

Husbands may gain weight and stop caring about their style.
Wives may stop dressing up at home and neglect personal grooming.

When both partners stop making an effort, attraction fades, and the relationship starts to feel monotonous.

💡 Solution:
Self-care is not just for your partner but for yourself.

Maintain good grooming habits, even at home.
Dress well and stay healthy, regardless of relationship status.
Keep working on personal development to remain interesting and engaging as a partner.

Small efforts in personal care can make a huge difference in keeping a relationship lively.

2. Why Some People Never Get Married: Why Long-Term Relationships Fail

1) Changing Behavior After Marriage

One common problem is that people change after getting married.

During dating, they say things like “You are the most important person in my life.”
After marriage, they start acting like “Now that we’re married, I don’t need to try anymore.”

This shift in attitude makes the other partner feel neglected, leading to emotional distance.

💡 Solution:
Even after marriage, continue expressing love and appreciation as you did in the dating phase. Small acts of kindness and affection go a long way.

2) Lack of Communication and Emotional Sharing

Many couples grow apart because they stop talking to each other.

Each partner gets busy with their daily routine.
They come home, sit on their phones, and rarely engage in meaningful conversations.

Over time, this lack of communication creates a cold and distant relationship.

💡 Solution:
Set aside at least 10 minutes a day to talk with your partner. Sharing emotions and daily experiences helps maintain emotional closeness.

3) Excessive Parental Interference

When in-laws or parents interfere too much in a couple’s life, it can create conflict.

In some cultures, especially in South Korea, family involvement in marriage is significant.
Parents’ opinions often influence decisions, sometimes leading to stress and misunderstandings.

💡 Solution:
Set clear boundaries and prioritize your partner over external influences. A successful marriage is based on a strong, independent partnership.

3. Key Factors for a Happy Relationship

1) Relationships Need a Healthy Balance of Closeness and Distance

Even married couples need a little tension and space to keep the relationship exciting.
Being too close can cause suffocation, while too much distance leads to detachment.

2) Keep Yourself Attractive and Interesting

Self-care is about more than just appearance—it’s about intellectual and emotional growth.
Continue learning, developing skills, and maintaining hobbies to stay engaged in life.

3) Keep the ‘Dating Phase’ Alive in Marriage

Just because you are married doesn’t mean the romance should disappear.
Plan dates, create special moments, and continue making an effort for your partner.